by Chris Beane
Let’s pick up from where we left off last time. For those of you newly joining us, let me catch you up to speed. S.M.A.R.T Goals don’t work. Sorry. Let’s come up with a list of requirements for a goal setting method that can solve some of the issues with S.M.A.R.T Goals.
What qualifications does a goal framework need to meet to be successful? Your goals need to be linked to your values. This will take care of the issue of your goals not actually being yours. If you have values, and you should have values, then your goals need to be linked and in line with your values. Perhaps you even have a goal or two for each of your values. That will allow you to move upward on the things that matter most to you. If you have your goals linked to your values then you have a deeply rooted “Why” for each of your goals. This is essential for putting the work in to achieve your goals. Your “Why” will act like your “magical mystery motivational mojo juice.” Because when you link your goals to your values, you will begin to value the work you’re doing to achieve that goal. (You see what I did there?) When the work you are doing to reach your goals becomes meaningful to you, you begin to go out of your way to put the work in. Just think for a moment about how amazing it would be to get fulfillment out of putting the work in. I mean, when was the last time you enjoyed doing work? This is not to say it will be easy, because any goal worth achieving is and will be challenging. But who said you can’t enjoy the challenge?
Your goal needs to push your comfort zone. This, by definition, will be challenging. The comfort zone is just that, it’s comfortable. I like to think about the comfort zone like my warm bed on a cold morning. The alarm goes off, I don’t want to get out of bed. I want to stay nestled under the warm covers, resisting the urge to face the day. I’m sure you can understand that feeling. However, if we never get out of bed, we can never get anything done. Remaining within our comfort zone stifles growth, causing it to shrink progressively until we find ourselves doing less and less. You see, just as you have a desire to stay in your warm bed each morning, you also want to stay in your comfort zone. Just as we have to, eventually, get out of bed and start the day, we also need to stretch our comfort zone to grow.
When we start to stretch our comfort zone, we try new things, we take greater risks, and engage in unfamiliar situations. Being uncomfortable, by challenging yourself to do things you don’t know how to do may seem like a recipe for disaster, and it probably will be. All of these things are supposed to make us uncomfortable, they are after all outside of our comfort zone. This is where you will begin to feel the failures. Yes failures, as in more than one. You see, with each failure we have an opportunity to learn. Learn what not to do, learn where our limits are, learn how to do it better next time. On the other hand, we also have the opportunity to back away, to go back to our comfort zone, and stay stagnant. Trying new things is challenging, because we are scared of the unknown, we are afraid of failing, or even afraid of succeeding. It’s easy to just stay where we are and let life happen around us. I suppose if that’s what you want, you can stop reading now.
Okay, now that we got rid of all those who are not ready to grow, let’s continue. Thanks for being committed to your growth. If you set “goals” for things that you are already on track to receive, then they are not goals. Let me give you an example. Let’s say you are contracted to earn $50,000 this year. You don’t need a goal to earn $50,000 this year. That is already going to happen. That is not a goal, it’s just the facts. Don’t waste your time “earning” those types of “goals.” Set your sights on something that is outside your reach. Understand that you will not always reach your marks. When you set goals that are outside your comfort zone, you will not always achieve those goals. This is okay. Yes, I did say it’s okay to not always reach your goals. In fact, I would tell you if you're reaching every goal you set for yourself then you are not setting your sights high enough. Just because you didn’t reach your goal doesn’t mean you are a failure. Quite the contrary. Let’s change your perspective on success. Success is not staying in the same place you currently are. Success is not achieving everything you set out to achieve. Success is about growth. Both personal and professional growth. When you set your sights on something that is outside your reach, it gives you an opportunity to reach for something. That is where growth comes from. It is during this stretch that you will grow. Don’t measure your success on what you can or have achieved, measure your success on how far you have come.
I think a goal setting framework needs to allow you to visualize what it would be like to achieve that goal. This is important because you see how your life would be different when you achieve your goal. What would achieving this goal do for you? Your goal system needs to take this into account so you have an opportunity to dream about your future life. This allows you to get super specific about how it will be when you achieve your goal. Who you pretend to be is who you will become. During this visualization process, you can begin to extract habits that align with the person you want to become. In fact, let’s rest on habits for a few moments.
Habits are not magic. They do not happen without warning or without forethought. Habits really are a set a practices that you decide to do. When you wake up in the morning, you have a set of practices you go through before you allow yourself to leave for the day. Let’s dive into just one of those habits: brushing your teeth. I’m sure you do this everyday or at least I hope you do this everyday. Let me ask you, how many times have you accidentally brushed your teeth? Weird question, right? If you take definition of habits as they are often referred to, this would happen on accident very often. Of course we do things accidentally and sometimes we even forget to do these things. But if we can “set and forget” habits, then this would almost never happen. All of the things you think of as habits are really practices, in the sense that you consciously decide to do this activity. I’ll bet you have heard the phrase, “practice makes perfect” and you think that is where this is going. No. You’re wrong. Sorry. Practice makes permanent. The way you practice something is the way you will perform it. You have undoubtedly written your name almost more than you have done most other things. Is it perfect? Does it look the same each and every time you write it? No, of course not. You're not a machine. You’re human and unless you didn’t know, humans do very little if anything perfectly. Well, there was one perfect human and I think you know how that ended for Him.
Next time we will dive into a few more necessary items that a goal setting framework needs.
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