All Episodes 152: Susanne Biro | Breaking the Outer Life Trap
152: Susanne Biro | Breaking the Outer Life Trap
Susanne Biro helps C-Suite and executive leaders escape what she calls the “Outer Life Trap”—the pattern of chasing external achievements to solve inner emptiness. With two decades coaching senior leaders globally, she believes sustainable success comes from integrating your inner world—your thoughts, feelings, and presence—into how you lead, decide, and show up. In this episode of The Prestigious Initiative, Chris and Susanne dive into the tension between outer life metrics and inner life reality: how many leaders feel “successful” but burned out, stressed, or disconnected. We explore tools for awareness, reducing stress without reducing impact, and leadership that grows from the inside out. For anyone who feels the results aren’t matching the effort, this conversation will illuminate a new path forward.
www.susannebiro.com
Get her book here: www.susannebiro.com/book
We spend so much of our lives chasing. Chasing the next promotion, the bigger house, the external validation that screams, “You’ve made it!” But what happens when you get there and the feeling you were promised never arrives? What happens when you win on the outside but feel disconnected on the inside?
This is the core of the work I’m drawn to on The Prestige Initiative. Every moment tests you. Every action defines you. And few tests are more challenging than the one that happens silently, within. To explore this, I sat down with a guide who specializes in this inner terrain: Suzanne Biro, a leadership coach with over 20 years of experience working with CEOs and senior leaders.
As I introduced her, Suzanne helps people identify when
“external measures of success are actually hiding or hindering those inner stress, fear, or disconnected feelings.”
Our conversation was a deep and honest look at how we can shift from chasing outward approval to cultivating the inner strength that not only makes us better leaders but more fulfilled human beings.
This isn’t about weakening your drive for results; it’s about amplifying it from a place of authentic power.
The "Outer Life Trap": Are You Missing Your Beautiful Life?
I opened by asking Suzanne what first triggered her awareness of this "Outer Life Trap." Her answer was disarmingly relatable. She described a haunting question that followed her:
“When do I get to arrive?... When do I get to relax and enjoy my life?”
She saw this pattern not only in herself but in almost everyone she worked with. It’s the “when X, then Y” mentality.
“When I get married… when I complete my college education… when the kids move out… when I lose those 10 pounds, then I will feel.”
We put our lives on hold, waiting for a future milestone to grant us permission to feel the way we want to feel. The problem, as Suzanne pointed out, is that this mindset robs us of the present.
“To the extent that I am using this as a means to an end… then I'm actually not ever really here with you. And I'm not enjoying this moment with you as an end in and of itself.”
This hit home for me. It aligns perfectly with my belief that our values are demonstrated by how we spend our time—our most precious commodity. If we’re always living for a future condition, we are, by definition, not valuing the present moment. We’re out of alignment.
The Foundation of Change: Your Inner World of Thought
So, how do we break free? Suzanne offered a deceptively simple starting point: bring radical awareness to your thoughts.
She challenged our listeners to a powerful exercise:
“Bring more awareness to what you are thinking about most of the time... What are three thoughts I had this morning?”
She gave examples from her own life. A thought she used to have was, “I should be further ahead.” How did that thought make her feel? “Anxious, behind, overwhelmed… I'm constantly behind. We can live our whole lives feeling behind.”
Then she shared a thought she actively cultivated to replace a negative one. Instead of “I'm tired,” she now wakes up and thinks, “I'm lean and healthy.” This new thought makes her feel excited to eat well, drink water, and go to the gym.
The takeaway is profound:
“Those thoughts… comprise my world.”
Your repeated thoughts shape your brain's neural pathways, creating your default version of reality. To change your life, you must first become the curator of your mind.
The Power of "Ouch" and the Courage to Care
This inner work isn’t just for personal peace; it’s the bedrock of exceptional leadership. We dove into how this plays out when leading others, especially when it comes to having difficult conversations.
Suzanne flipped the script on conflict. She believes that having a direct, honest conversation is not unkind; it’s the opposite.
“I think it's more loving and more kind… it is a leadership necessity that we go and have the direct conversation with that person.”
When we avoid giving feedback, we often “vent behind their back,” which doesn’t honor them or help them grow. Having the conversation is a way of honoring their potential.
But how do we stay open when we’re on the receiving end of feedback? Suzanne shared a brilliantly simple tool she uses:
“The first thing I say to myself is ouch, ouch that hurt.”
This single word gives her a moment to acknowledge the sting, feel it, and stop herself from immediately getting defensive.
“It gives me just a second to acknowledge it, feel it, and not push it away, not defend in the conversation.”
This creates a “tiny breathing room” to actually listen and see what truth might be in the feedback.
This requires a foundation of caring. We addressed the modern culture of “not giving a fuck,” and Suzanne pushed back beautifully.
“I care greatly about the people that I love and respect… and I care greatly about what my peers in my field think of me… We should care about what some people think.”
The key is to be intentional. Build your “informal board of directors”—the five to eight people whose opinions you truly value because they care about you. As I reflected, this creates an upward trajectory for everyone involved.
Confronting Fear and the Myth of the "Perfect" Leader
Of course, stepping into this kind of authentic leadership requires confronting fear. Suzanne named her podcast Deep Fear because, as she said,
“I should talk about something I know something about.”
She shared her own visceral fear of public speaking, admitting she would “pray for the plane to crash as I was flying to the location.” But she went anyway because she wanted freedom. Her powerful insight was this:
“If we don't go towards fear and see that there's nothing there, our lives just become smaller and smaller and smaller.”
For leaders, this means speaking up in a meeting even when you’re afraid people will disagree, or having that crucial conversation you’ve been avoiding. The success, Suzanne argues, isn’t in the outcome, but in the act itself.
“Regardless of the outcome… I want you to be proud that you stepped up and you took the risk.”
This connects directly to one of the biggest leadership myths: that you have to be a certain, invulnerable type of person. Suzanne dismantled this beautifully. She realized she used to feel “so ordinary and boring” that she tried to be something else. “When I have come to accept, maybe I'm just ordinary and boring… It has allowed me to be myself.”
Leadership isn’t about being Tony Robbins or Mother Teresa. It’s about being you. “The most powerful place we can come from is to be ourself.” That might mean saying, “I don't know the answer to that,” or, “That was me. We got to go fix this.” This vulnerability isn’t weakness; it’s disarming, authentic, and powerfully effective.
A Final Charge: You Are Already Here
Suzanne’s final takeaway was a gift of grace and empowerment. She said if you’re listening to a podcast like this, investing in your growth,
“you are a success. You're a highly functioning human being.”
Her closing words are something I believe we all need to hear and internalize:
“You are everything you want to be right in this moment as you listen.”
The journey isn’t about becoming someone new in the future. It’s about uncovering and embodying the leader you already are, right now, by doing the inner work that allows your outer life to truly flourish.
If this conversation resonated with you, share it with a leader who needs to hear it. Let’s continue to build lives of inner strength that create legacies of outward impact.
Join us weekly for deep, unfiltered conversations about personal development, leadership, productivity, and excellence. Each episode is crafted to help you take initiative and unlock your full potential — both personally and professionally
Steven Werley has lived two lives: first as an Army Ranger, where discipline and clarity under pressure meant survival, and now as a marketing strategist, where those same principles drive revenue growth. Having helped more than 6,500 business owners rethink their sales systems, Steven knows most businesses don’t have a lead problem—they have a conversion problem. In this episode of The Prestigious Initiative, Chris and Steven unpack how AI agents are reshaping sales teams, why overlooked leads often hold the biggest wins, and how to scale revenue without losing the human touch. If you’ve ever felt like you’re leaving money on the table, or you’re burning out chasing leads that don’t close, this conversation will show you how to reclaim your time, sharpen your systems, and grow smarter—not harder.
John Solleder has been building businesses—and people—for more than four decades. As a top earner in four network marketing companies and mentor to over 5,000 entrepreneurs, John knows the difference between chasing short-term wins and building a life of sustainable achievement. In this episode of The Prestigious Initiative, Chris and John dive deep into what it takes to stay relevant and effective for the long haul. They explore how mindset drives outcomes, why self-development is the non-negotiable investment, and how balance isn’t just possible—it’s essential. Whether you’re an entrepreneur, a leader, or someone working to align personal growth with professional goals, this conversation will give you a blueprint for building success that lasts decades, not just years.
What does it take to build a life where business, family, and mental health all matter — and actually find balance in the middle of it?
In this episode of The Prestigious Initiative, Chris Beane welcomes his friend Bri Haug — a mom, wife, and business owner who runs her own tattoo shop. Bri opens up about her journey of building a business with integrity, navigating equality in the industry, and prioritizing self-care in the face of life’s challenges.
Together, Chris and Bri discuss the importance of mental health, how to manage time as both a leader and parent, and why setting goals with intention helps keep both personal and professional life aligned. This candid conversation shines a light on resilience, creativity, and the real work of living with balance.
Website: www.electricladytattoo.com
Email: brihaugtattoo@gmail.com
Instagram: @brihaug and @electricladylounge
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